How Reading Romance Novels Can Improve All Types of Relationships

For Gigi, queer romance stories such as Red, White and Royal Blue, Song of Achilles, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo inspired her to explore intimacy with different people, regardless of their gender—something she says has been quite liberating.

“I went out and asked people on dates, talked to people to find my person, put myself in situations where I could possibly find the love of my life.” The 26-year-old trader from Toronto also credits the genre to expanding her internal beliefs about love. “The beautiful prose, exploration of romance and conversations about love in these books have influenced the way I talk to my partners, approach dating and have even allowed me to explore the concept of soulmates.”

A tool for connection and communication

Specific plot lines and character interactions in romance novels can serve a great template for acting out fantasies of all types, which can be a great way of connecting with a partner.

According to Dr. O’Reilly, “Some folks find that they can use the stories, scenarios and characters from these books to open up about desires, likes, dislikes, boundaries, curiosities and more.” To get started, she recommends couples underline passages and read them together either as a source of inspiration or as a way to start a meaningful conversation about fantasies.

Aura, a PhD candidate from New York, has used conversations she read in certain novels to communicate with her partner. “When you read enough such novels you get a sense of how to say the things you want,” she says. She uses literature as a tool to shrug off the shame or shyness instilled by society when it comes to expressing love and desire. “Now, when I need to say I love you, I say it straight up,” she adds.

Outside of romantic relationships, Pooja has found romance novels to be instrumental in building a sense of empathy. “It taught me to relate to folks even if my lived experiences had nothing in common with them.”

The 27-year-old marketer from NYC has found that some of her favorite books, like Nora Goes Off Script and The Zoya Factor, have exposed her to storylines that weren’t just about romantic love, but other important interpersonal dynamics.