5 signs you’ve moved on from your ex and are ready to date again

Healing from a breakup isn’t a linear process. Neither is figuring out the signs you’ve moved on from your ex and are ready to start dating again.

As anyone who’s been heartbroken knows, it’s tempting to jump straight into a rebound. “One of the hardest parts about moving on from any serious relationship is losing your primary source of attachment,” says Rachel Zar, PhD, LMFT, AASECT-certified sex therapist at Avid Intimacy in Chicago. So it makes sense that you’d pursue a few flirty Hinge matches seeking boosts of external validation to replace the closeness you lost. However, dating before you’re emotionally ready rarely pans out, Dr. Zar says: Not only can it hold you back from connecting with someone new, but it can also prolong your breakup recovery.

What’s tricky is knowing when you’re healed enough to try again, especially when feelings of nostalgia, sadness and love may still linger. So how do you know when to put yourself back out there? Here are a few signs you’ve moved on from your ex, according to relationship experts.

1. You don’t secretly hope they’ll come back

It’s normal to miss the person you spent so much time with. “But right after a breakup, we often romanticise the relationship,” says Radisha Brown, LCSW, owner of iThrive Therapy in Augusta, Georgia, and author of Girl Let Him Go: How to Heal from a Painful Breakup to Love Again. This explains why so many freshly single folks may start swiping—not to find someone new, but to kill time until their ex slides back into the picture.

“You might always feel that pain or love, but what I advise is looking for a sense of acceptance that this person isn’t for you and that the relationship has run its course,” Dr. Zar adds—meaning, you’ve stopped waiting for a reunion that may never happen.

2. You’re excited, not full of dread, about meeting new people

Flirting to fill a void or following the classic “getting over someone by getting under someone” playbook will usually leave you feeling lonelier, emptier, and regretful. So a good sign of progress is when you agree to be set up because you want to, not because you feel you have to. Maybe you want to explore what’s out there (including what was missing from your last relationship). Or you’re actually enjoying getting ready for first dates, from the playlist in the shower to the outfit that makes you feel most like your confident self.

3. You stop comparing them to everyone else

It’s completely natural to feel let down when a new match doesn’t instantly give you the same spark your ex once did. Because of this, many freshly dumped singles will compare every detail—from their humour to texting style, or only swipe right on people who resemble they-who-shall-not-be-named.